MÈRE Stories: Paige Head
My goal in life was always to become a mother.
When my husband and I found out that we were pregnant with our first child, we were equal parts, nervous and excited.
It was a day we had been waiting for, and a day now looking back that was so pivotal not just to us as a family, but to me personally as well.
My postpartum experience with my first showed me the depths to which a mother’s mental health can fall and how important a network of support is.
I was diagnosed with postpartum depression (PPD) around 12 weeks postpartum (totally lied on the 6 week assessment because I was in denial about where I was actually at mentally).
I really believed I could “push through” and at some point things would change - I’d be happy, I’d feel bonded to my baby, etc.
It really wasn’t until a couple of people in my inner circle saw me—I mean really SAW me and pushed past the “I’m fine”s and “We’re good”s that I finally was able to get the support I needed to create for myself the change I was desperately waiting for.
I finally started to feel like I was coming out of it all and enjoying motherhood and then at nine months postpartum, I found out I was pregnant with our second child.
There were so many resources I learned about the second time around that made my experience with my second smoother—almost redemptive in a way.
I felt prepared and had created a collage of support around me—not just for my baby, but for myself as well.
It was the best thing I did for myself and for our family.
Support is essential and it can be accessed in a variety of ways, which is why I created a “Build Your Village” part to my counseling practice, Crescent Counseling & Consulting, LLC. I help women in all phases of motherhood heal from previous traumas, manage symptoms of anxiety and depression, and create the birth experience they desire and deserve. This isn’t just my business, though, it’s my passion and a part of my story—It wasn’t a story I chose, but it was the story that made me who I am and brought me here to this amazing community of birth providers and, for that, I’m grateful.
If you had to summarize your journey in motherhood with all its challenges, how would you describe it now? How have you found a way to reclaim your strength or identity? What have you learned?If I had to summarize my journey in motherhood, I would describe it as transformative.
Becoming a mother and everything that went into it from conception to birth to the challenges, I faced postpartum, changed me to my core.
Truthfully, they broke me down and rebuilt me into a better business owner, wife, and friend. I learned that, truly, the lowest of lows don’t last forever and the darkest of night always ends when morning comes—a phrase I adopted as a part of my perinatal therapy practice.
What advice or words of encouragement would you give another mom walking through a similar chapter? Don’t give up.
As I mentioned above, “morning always comes”. Everything in life is a season and every challenge that you face is manageable with the right steps and the right supports.
Another important piece of advice that I would give to a mother walking through a similar postpartum season as the one I experienced with my first is to try and not blame yourself for the symptoms they are experiencing. Whether that is intrusive thoughts or a feeling of complete disconnect, there is nothing that you did to cause it. There is no blame to be assigned. That was something very hard for me to come to terms with, so I feel compelled to say it to those who might resonate with what I’ve shared above.
How has your journey changed you, both in ways you expected and in ways you never could have imagined?My journey and motherhood has changed me, as I mentioned, completely, and holy to my core.
I never anticipated having to go through what I went through to bring our children into the world, and while it was worth it, it is still humbling to think of what it cost me.
I am still changed in many ways because of that, but I believe there is a way to honor what we lose during this transformative time in adjunct with everything we gain.
— Paige Head
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