MÈRE Stories: McKinley Brock
“The emotional toll of repeated loss weighed heavily on me, and I felt unheard and alone in my struggle to find answers.”
My husband and I were married fairly young, and like many couples, we had a five year plan. We would advance our careers, get a puppy (or two), purchase a home and then start our family.
However, our journey trying to conceive was wrought with hardship and unexpected loss.
We found out we were pregnant shortly after we started trying, and were pleasantly surprised by how “easy” it was for us.
A few weeks later, we had our first miscarriage. We were devastated, but we understood that pregnancy loss was fairly common, especially within the first few weeks.
Unfortunately, our journey did not stop here.
We experienced two more miscarriages that same year.
Each loss brought heartbreak, and what made it even harder was the lack of support from the doctors I initially turned to for help.
Because I was still in my twenties, they dismissed my concerns, assuring me that if I were their daughter, they would simply tell me to "keep trying."
But my intuition told me that something wasn’t right. The emotional toll of repeated loss weighed heavily on me, and I felt unheard and alone in my struggle to find answers.
I was further along in my fourth pregnancy when we were told that our baby did not have a heartbeat.
At this point, I felt completely defeated and my experience was ignored by my doctors.
It wasn’t until I started seeing a therapist that I learned how to advocate for myself. I sought out a fertility specialist who truly listened and validated my experiences and for the first time, I felt seen and understood.
After undergoing our first round of fertility treatments, we became pregnant with a beautiful baby boy and our lives were forever changed.
He is now a vivacious and inquisitive four year old with the biggest heart. Anyone who meets him for the first time will know he’s enamored with anglerfish and robots.
What they may not know was that he was fought for and loved far before he landed this side of heaven.
His arrival was the culmination of years of heartbreak, perseverance, and learning to fight for the care I deserved.
“I would describe my journey into motherhood as one of heartbreak, perseverance, and hope. I always had an unwavering belief that I was going to be a mother, but I didn’t expect the resilience that comes with motherhood to begin before I held my baby in my arms.
I’ve learned to embrace my pregnancy journey as one that has made me a more patient and appreciative mother than I would have been. It has also lead me to some of my dearest friends who have also experienced infertility or loss.”
— McKinley Brock
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